I Am Not Waiting

Slowly making my way through Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now.”  Just reading it does something to me, puts me in the present moment, maybe.  But I always feel better after reading.  It also gets me thinking.

He was talking about waiting.  Or more accurately, not waiting.  He said that people who are present minded are never waiting.  They are just being.

Last Friday I left work early, unexpectedly.  I thought I might stop at my mechanic’s so he could listen to the odd sound the car was making.  I figured, 15 minutes, in and out, and was busy planning what else I could do with this found time.  Turned out it was the rear brakes.  And rather than go through the hassle of trying to figure another time to bring in the car, and with no particular place to go, I said, go for it.

So, I settled in with a couple books, some fresh paper and a pen and easily entertained myself for the 2 hours he promised it would take.  But two hours later, I watched 3:00 come and go and still the car was up on the lift.  I started to feel antsy and bored with what I was doing.  I became aware of how chilly it was in the waiting room and how stiff the chair.  I kept having visions of the next stop, where I could be warm and have a cup of tea . . . I was calm and easy before, now I was stressed, uncomfortable and having a hard time sitting still.

Why not try Eckhart Tolle’s method?  I felt myself sitting in the chair, here and now.  I allowed myself to accept the fact that I was there and until they finished the job, I wasn’t going anywhere.  I let go of thoughts of the next stop and focused on where I was.  I consciously felt my muscles relax and sink into the chair.  Almost as soon as I did that the anxious waiting feeling disappeared and I even felt a little warmer.  The rest of the time passed quickly and I was in a good mood when it was time to pay the bill.  The mechanic thanked me for waiting, but I didn’t feel like that at all!

Now, Mr. Tolle is clear to say that there is small scale waiting, like this one, and there is large scale waiting like waiting for a new job, mate or home.  I don’t know if I could be as successful with that kind of waiting, but if I practice on these small ones, it might be a lot easier to wait for the big things.

Time is Not on My Side

For something so hard to hold, Time certainly is powerful!

I’ve been reading “The Power of Now” again. Eckhart Tolle has much to say on the subject of Time and I’m still early in the book.  He talks of how we get caught up in psychological time.  Though we might have to live within “clock” time, we take it way too far.

Time claws at me from behind, reminding me of all the time I’ve wasted.  And it cackles from the future, taunting me to move faster.  Time is always there to demand I go there, or do this.  What exactly am I doing with my time?  I would venture to say Time is at the heart of most stress.  It’s so hard to make it do what you want.

So, how do we step aside and let time tick by without being so attached to it?

Perhaps, like most things, it‘s about controlling the thoughts.  It’s not really time’s fault, after all.  You can’t blame the clock. The time is what we’ve decided it is:  2:47 pm, Eastern Standard Time. But it’s all the thoughts that gather around it which cause such stress and angst.  The judgments that can spew forth!

I wonder if I can practice releasing the thoughts, the stress, the anxiety about time?  At the moment it’s literally hours before I have to note the time.  Can’t I just let go and be in the now?  At least for the next few hours? 

It feels almost impossible to escape it. I have had fantasies about going to sleep when I’m tired, getting up when I’m rested, eating when I feel hungry. Instead of being such a slave to the clock.  Even at times in my life when I could do that (with no particular place to go and no particular time to be there) I still couldn’t do it.  I can’t even do the “it’s 5:00 somewhere” game.  I’m just so locked into the structure of time (except for a fondness for having breakfast for dinner).

I know well the value and peace, as well as all that can be done in the now.  That means gaining control over my addiction to psychological time.

Stay tuned ~