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After an especially good coaching session with Paulette Terrels, we discovered that I seem to have a need to make a fuss and complain about things. I don’t do it all the time and it’s usually not vocal.  Certainly, I’ve made progress and it’s breaking up. But through that deeper awareness, I routed out a deeply held belief which has been quiet, but steadfast.  I’m not sure if I can fully get my head around it, but I’m going to try.

I know it does me no good to dwell on the negative.  And I’m usually quick to shift gears, aware that the complaining blocks my progress toward allowing what I want to flow.  I have experienced this in action when I do allow the good feelings and thoughts to take over.  When I rest easy and trust it will happen.  Things work out so much better.  Just recently, I marked a weekend on my calendar to go to the beach.  I didn’t know how I was going to get there, where I would go, etc.  But an invitation came the Monday before.

And, yet, even as I write this, I want to moan and complain about something and find a crutch.  I feel the negative tendencies holding me back, pulling me down, poking holes in my positive energy, making a mess of everything.  Still, I cling to it, as if it were a life raft.

Why?  That is the question.  Maybe I think people won’t like me or resent me if I’m too happy, too cheerful.  Perhaps I worry that I’ll miss something I need to see.  That I’m somehow being lazy or irresponsible if I don’t take a “cold, hard look at what’s wrong.”   I either won’t know what to change or otherwise neglect my need.  What if I fall asleep to my desire to change? Some may take the view that I’m not really looking at the reality unless I see the negative.  (I guess it doesn’t matter that I’ve spent years seeing only the negative and skimming over the positive.  Or like it wouldn’t be a good idea to try it the other way around.)  I must think that I will somehow “forget” what it is I want to change.  Another thought might be that the grumpies provide “proof” that I need things to change. I’m not sure about all this.  I suspect there’s even more to the story, deeper along.

Sometimes, just hearing the possible reasons  (or seeing them) can help to blow them away.  I do know that much of this is nonsense.  It doesn’t  wipe it all away, but it can help when faced with it to remember that it’s not really true.

When I get stuck in this muck of negativity, it’s hard to extricate myself.  It usually takes someone else – like a coach – to point out where I am.  When I’m in it, I’m not aware of these reasons.  I just have a sinking feeling that I must pay attention, hold onto the gripes, or I won’t get what I want.  Now, I might be a little more aware of the reasons that I can let go of.

The Good Truth is that as soon as I realize where I am, I can step out of that pile, wipe off my shoes and put my feet into cool water.  Then, pick up something that feels better and keep on going.

1) Make a Choice to Do It.  
Setting the Intention and putting some enthusiasm behind it is the best way to get going.

2) Plan Wisely.
Be sure to know how I’m going to do it.  Don’t overload.  Consider how I’m feeling and what else I need to do.  What will my overall energy requirements be?  Find a good time to do it.  And know the steps I’m going to take.

3) Know  the Reasons I Want to Do It.
This will increase my enthusiasm and seal my commitment if the going gets rough.

4) Accept That it May Not Get Done the Way I Picture It.
Doing what I say I’m going to do,
Has nothing to do with when.
Not being able to do it now (or when I planned),
Doesn’t negate doing it at another time.
Simply say when I will try again and stick to it.

5) Check to See if There’s an Easier Way.
I increase my chances of doing it if I make time to find the quickest route.

6)  Get Into the Good Feelings.
Remember how wonderful it feels to do what I said I would do, to follow through on my promises.  How about that feeling of  crossing it off the list, knowing I did it!

7) Remember the Steps for Goal Getting.
First is knowing what you want to do.
Second is figuring out what it will take to get it.
But nothing gets done unless you Take the Steps.

8) Stop to Appreciate the Accomplishment.
It’s so easy to jump into the next thing.  If I make sure to appreciate the accomplishment, I strengthen my will muscle and my commitment for the next goal.

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