Do You Hear What I Hear?

There are so many things calling.  Pulling in a zillion different ways.  There are those calls I have to make, the errands to run, emails to return, this to work on, these things to tend to. Whoops!  Don’t forget that. Oh, and what about the stacks of mending awaiting my time and attention?  Is it Christmas already?  I still have packages to wrap. And look, Aunt Mabel showed up!  Where will she sleep? What about all those newsletters and bits of information to read?  The emails continue to pile up.  And the laundry.

Internally there are voices, too.  A running commentary about yourself, your spouse, your kids, your parents, how you did, how you will do, the weather . . . Most of the time it’s easier to ignore most of it.

Sometimes I think this instant access to answers of all kinds, from millions of sources doesn’t help much. The telephone’s ringing and the television offers hundreds of options.  There is no lack of things to choose from, no dearth of distractions to keep us incredibly diffused.  Unless you’ve been spending your time atop a mountain, it’s unlikely you get more than a small portion of your day to focus quietly on anything.  Most of us are expert multi-taskers. It’s easy to see how a person could have to shut down in some places in order to keep up.

So, what are you going to listen to?  Where do you put your trust?  How do you know which of the million answers to your search you should take?  Which politician really speaks for you?  What spiritual author has all the answers?  How do I know which expert to follow?

I believe that each of has, inside our heads at all times, a voice that offers guidance.  It is buried under all that noise.  It is a quiet and unassuming voice.  It does not yell or demand.  You can tell it by its calmness. And that it never criticizes or judges.  It just quietly guides you. It’s loving and accepting. You’ll know it by how it makes you feel.

You develop it by listening to it.  Heeding its guidance.  You may, from time to time, find you’ve listened to the wrong voice.  When it feels Right, in your gut, you know you have it.  But practice will give you more skill at recognizing it.  When it makes you feel good and worthy, it’s likely to be that voice.  But you are free to test it out and see which voice feels the best.

Open your internal browser and seek answers and direction.  Use the inboard guidance system of feelings to lead you to it.  When you do, you will find a single source you can go to.  One that will support you well and help you make good choices.  Then you can pick which of the million results is right for you.

This process is especially good for teenagers.  Learning how to separate the urges that feel right, that spread warmly across your chest or settle broadly in your gut. Those that seem like they would be good for you and maybe others, too.  Leaving behind the fearful longings that someone won’t like you if you don’t do what they say.  Or that excited, risky feeling that doesn’t seem to have much in the way of positive results.

Imagine the good choices you could make if you had one source you could trust.

No Choice

The sky is gray and sprinkling rain.  It’s not what you’d call chilly, exactly, and yet I feel it in my bones.  The dampness has set in.  I have nothing in particular to feel badly about, except maybe the weather.  But I am fussing and picking at everything! Things that usually slip off me like fine silk are rubbing me the wrong way.  I can’t stand the way he does that!  Why does she always do that me? It’s the kind of day where I might spill cottage cheese all down my shirt and then be really upset with myself, too.  I feel like I really, really just want to be somewhere else!

This, it would seem, is exactly the state of mind Eckhart Tolle says produces no choice. It was not my choice to stub my toe, I shout!  But I can tell my head is full of other things and I just walked right into that chair.

It’s a very intriguing concept to me.  This having no choice. I have long believed we make our own choices.  We are co-creators of our own lives.  How can this be that I have no choice?

But it makes a lot of sense, when you think about it.  Perhaps it brings some relief to say, I didn’t consciously choose to lose my best friend. I can see that when I’m all tangled up in the stuff in my head, it’s not easy to be making real choices.  I can’t even control my thoughts.  You wouldn’t really say that you chose to break your arm.  Maybe you needed it to slow down and face some other things.  But that was not your conscious choice. Your head was probably buzzing with complaints, past dredging or future dreaming.  When you get right down to it, if you’re not in the present moment, truly aware of what’s going on, you really do have no choice.  Yikes!  But it answers a lot of questions when you realize there are things in your life you didn’t consciously create.

And that’s just the problem:  we are not conscious.  How can we expect to make good, healthy choices for ourselves when we’re wrapped up in repetitive, unconscious thinking?

Noticing that this is happening is clearly the first step.  Then I stop, notice my breath and try to feel my body.  A good way in is to note how your body is:  are your shoulders up?  Tightness in your back?  What’s going on in your body?  That immediately brings you out of the nasty chatter in your head.  Like taking a shower allows insights to arise.  The funny thing is that being out of your head is the best place to be for good conscious, real choices.

Once I’ve gotten in touch with my body, I feel I have some control.  I can dig deeper to the feelings under the physical sensations.  That is where the true answers lie, where the guidance is found.

All of sudden, from that place, I can say to myself, Joe didn’t mean to do that.  He doesn’t really do it all the time.  He may just be tired.  Like I am.  I didn’t get enough sleep last night. That’s why I’m so cranky.  I may be back in my head, but I’m feeling a lot gentler now.  I’m directing and choosing my thoughts.  Choosing to have kinder and more loving thoughts.

Then I notice I do have a choice how I’m thinking and feeling.  And lo and behold, the sun has come out!

Everyday Intentions

Today I Intend to ~

 Rest into the Present Moment

Be Loving to everyone I come in contact with

Take Good Care of myself

Do at least One Thing to move my Dream forward

Think Positive Thoughts

 (change any thought that isn’t making me feel good)

Do the Best I can

 Enjoy my day and sleep well tonight

 

Seeing the Gifts

“Whoever you meet has been sent by God.  How would you greet them?”  — Alan Cohen

Alan Cohen never ceases to amaze me.  This is a fabulous idea: to see everyone you meet as a gift.  Sometimes, when it’s a little more difficult to see a person that way, we say they are our “Zen Master.”  It’s such a great way to look at others.  Everyone who comes into your life has something to offer you.  To teach you, to show you, to uplift you, to get you to see things in a new way.

It’s not a selfish thing to look at it that way because you are also a gift to others.  You were sent to them by God, as well.  So, no matter what happens in your exchange, it was for the good of both of you.

So, how would we greet them if we were aware that they were in our lives for a reason?  Perhaps we would be more open to who they are and what they bring.  Maybe we’d be  a little kinder, more accepting.  Would we maybe even welcome them with open arms and a wide heart?

I think I’d like to sharpen my awareness of others – what they’re projecting, how they are appearing.  Also, what they’re saying (and what they’re not saying).  I think one could not have a better avocation than to be a people watcher.

Perhaps I will be a little more patient with the prattling of others.  I will try to remember that even if it appears to be out of my realm, in fact, there is a gift for me.  This will help me to tune in more carefully, listen more deeply.

You know, this practice is likely to make me a more loving person.  That Alan Cohen surely is a wise one!

Paving Good Intentions Along the Road

Very powerful things, intentions. They dictate how we go about our lives, what our priorities are, and the ultimate effect of our actions.

Some cultures speak of Karma.  I believe that comes directly from our intentions. If you put out generous and loving intentions, you are likely to get the same back.  Though it’s not always in a linear, tit-for-tat exchange.  The energy in intention bounces around and can easily get you from behind!

I was reading Sharon Salzberg (one of my favorite and most under appreciated authors).  She was talking about how the Buddha taught that these intentions and consequent actions were what defined a person’s life – not their caste.  A radical view then, Sharon said, and a radical view now.

Our intentions or motivations are what truly outline what we do and who we are.  Though they are not readily apparent from the outside.  We can never be completely sure what another person’s intentions are.  The motivation could be greed, revenge or generosity or caring, but it would look the same, externally.

The beautiful thing is that we can each decide our intention. It is always our choice.  And this, more than anything else, shapes our world.

Sharon says, when we understand our connection to all things, we can’t help but want to do good.  To set our intention for such.  It’s not something we need to strive for, it is something that comes from within, naturally.

Though we can practice.  Sharon suggests meditation to listen to and practice control of our thoughts. Then we can make more conscious intentions. You need to know where you’re going if you have any hope of getting there.

I’m off to the beach this weekend.  I’ve set my intention to feel loving toward the people I will be with and to be safe on the road.  I want to rest into the present moment and spend some quality time, in the sun, with the ocean.  Amen.

I wish for you to choose more and more loving intentions and smooth sailing ahead.