Truth is In the Eye of the Beholder

An interesting phenomena. Life truly is how each of us see it.

This is often apparent with siblings.  Ask a brother how he remembers a certain incident in the past.  Then ask the sister to describe it.  Especially if there are a number of years’ between them, you’re likely to be left with two very different stories.

It’s inevitable as we all see through our own eyes, our own filters.  Our life experiences have been so selective, so specialized that they add up to a custom world view.

This also speaks to our uniqueness.  I like to say that no one is as good at being me as I am.  You can mimic my mannerisms, you can imitate my accent, dress like I do, cut your hair the same way, but you will never do me better than me.

When I look at something it goes through a million calculations.  The mind makes connections with other things I’ve seen, how I perceived it at another time, what I think about it now.  How I automatically see it, how I’d like to see it, how I think I should see it.  This creates a very personal vision.

“You say tomato, I say tomato, let’s call the whole thing off.”  Doesn’t work so well in print, but you get the idea.

I see a babbling brook whose sounds sooth and calm me.  You see a great place to drop your line and fish, making your heart beat faster.  The very same view. How many of these moments have we each had?  Reacting physically, mentally and emotionally in our own way.

You might think I blew you off.  But I didn’t do that deliberately.  That was not my thinking at all.  An emergency cropped up that I had to attend to right away.  It had nothing to do with how I feel about you.

Truth is in the eye of the beholder.  I try to remember that before I jump to any conclusions about why someone did something.

What is This Trying to Tell Me?

I believe this is a Loving Universe.  Therefore, it is my understanding that everything that comes my way has something to teach me.  It’s magical when you think about it – that one incident would have something different to teach everyone involved.

My favorite pastor, Stan Gale, wrote recently about how all that comes to us, especially adversity, is there to strengthen our faith. I can sit with that.  I agree that we need to find a way to welcome everything that comes to us with acceptance.  But the result, in my mind, is much bigger than just an escalation of faith.

This circumstance – whether it’s adversity or prosperity, hurtful or joyful, consequential or just a flitter on the radar – can expand our love and consciousness, as well. If we go at life with the question, “What is this trying to tell me?” we allow ourselves to experience so much more.

The other day, I was stood up.  The person who didn’t show certainly has her own lessons to learn, maybe about fulfilling promises or being more honest about what she wants.  Those are not my lessons, though.  I truly wanted to get together and I showed up on time and followed up with phone calls and e-mails.

I could easily be angry.  But if I use this experience and ask what it’s trying to tell me, I can feel sympathy for her. I realize that something else is going on or she would’ve been there.  But what is my part, what is my lesson?  Is it about reading the signs which pointed to this possibility?  Or is it something deeper?  Maybe something about thinking it’s okay to stand me up, without a call?

The point is just that there are lessons for each of us to be found in everything.  My expansion is likely to be different from others within a situation.  By asking a simple question like “What is this trying to tell me?” I open opportunities to grow, to love more and to deepen my faith.