Sacred Relationships

Cheryl Richardson said, in “The Unmistakable Touch of Grace,” when we decide to have a more conscious life, one of the effects is “instead of seeing our experiences or encounters with others as random occurrences, we see them as deliberate spiritual events that remind us who we really are – magnificent souls being molded and shaped by sacred hands.”

This gets me thinking again about the people in my life.  Everyone, from my partner to the “extras” who pass through.  The chance encounters, the cashiers along the way, the delivery guy. What if I was to see all my encounters as “deliberate spiritual events”?  Maybe I would treat them a little differently, think of them in a fresh way.

The person in front of me is not here to hold me up, but to teach me patience. That woman wasn’t being selfish, she was letting me practice compassion and equanimity.  That guy isn’t trying to waste my time, he is in need and hoping I can help him.

Some people are mirrors, reflecting back to us things we may not see in ourselves.  I find sometimes, if I am listening, I overhear something. I may not even know the context, but the words illuminate something I haven’t seen before and I get clarity.  What a gift that person was to me! He or she may not even have a clue, not even know who I am.  There are those magical moments when you’re standing at a bus stop, for instance, and someone shares words of wisdom with you and then fades into the back drop of other riders on the bus.

The trick is to see everyone like that.  Even if it’s not a life changing encounter.  But to see all encounters as sacred, as touching your life in some way.

This brings a new light to all your relationships, encounters, and interactions.  It makes life so much more beautiful and vital! Rather than looking for what you or the other can gain out of the relationship, if instead you are looking for the gift, the light of growth, doesn’t that sound like more fun?

I’m going to try to see every interaction – especially those which are a bit trying – as sacred.

Celebrating the Wins

I find, sometimes, that I don’t spend enough time celebrating the wins.  I’m talking about the little ones.  The big ones are easier to spot and note.  But those times when you get something right or someone says something nice to you. Today, I actually got compliments from two very diverse sources, on the same object of inquiry.  It was not asked for and was directed at something I had done a long time ago. Neither had to say anything at all. It felt good. Especially in one day!

Now, a reader pointed out that a thing really isn’t either good or bad. It is only our perception that makes them one way or the other  Those that follow the Buddha will tell you about the Middle Way. That Equanimity is the way to go.  Where everything is just what it is. I agree that Judgments are never a good idea.  And it is true, if you go too high up, you’re likely to come crashing down. 

Since this is the Positive Slant, though, I put myself out of business (or at least out of a Blog) if I buy too far into that.  Personally, I like the idea of seeing it all as Good, even if that is a judgment and may one day get me into trouble.  It keeps me more centered in the present moment if I trust that it is all good.

So, if I’m going to accept and allow everything with a glad heart, I figure, I might as well practice on the things that feel obviously good. And I get in a whole lot more of that practice if I keep an eye out for even the small ones.

If you can’t acknowledge and appreciate the wins, how can you possibly greet with equanimity those things that might appear to be losses? I clearly feel better and stronger, more able and willing to do more, when I celebrate the good things.