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I know that emotions are important. They are like signposts to show us where we are, indicators of our state. An emotion points us to what we’re thinking. If I’m sad, I must be thinking sad thoughts. If I’m angry . . . Susan Jeffers, the fear expert, said that fear is not the culprit. It’s how we react to it. The emotion we generate comes, not from what’s happening, but from our thoughts about whatever is going on. In this world we live in most things are hard to have control over. Our thoughts, however, are the one things we can truly control. We have this great system of emotions to show us what our thoughts are doing. I often say that emotions, once unleashed, are difficult to tame. But eventually, their intensity dissipates and we can tackle the thoughts. In this respect, emotions are critical and important.
One the other hand, my emotions drag me around and get me into trouble. They interfere with my life and my intentions. They can make whatever I’m doing that much more intense or difficult. I need to turn them down, step away from them so I can function again. Emotions move. E-motion can take me into places I don’t want to go.
Working on an old wound that hinders my progress, I’ve found that if I turn away from it, along with the associated emotions and just do what I need to do, I’m fine. Maybe there is no healing possible. Or I’ve done all I can do. If I tell those thoughts behind the emotion to just leave me alone, I can often move forward.
I was talking with a friend today who warned me that what I was doing could turn out badly. When we got off the phone I got to thinking about all the ways it could go wrong. Fear took hold. Later, I discovered someone hadn’t done something. I felt hurt that my request had not been followed. Normally it would’ve just gone by with nothing more than a note to ask again. But on top of the earlier fear, it really hurt. Before I knew it, I discovered that there was something I had forgotten. Now I was angry at myself. It felt like one of those nasty punches someone whips up from spit, rotten vegetables and motor oil and then asks you to drink it on a dare.
I understand the value of emotions. But damn they make me mad!
We all see things through a filter. Even if we are willing to face life directly, we still make the choice what we are going to name what we see in front of us. It helps to stop a moment and ask ourselves, “How am I going to relate to this situation?”
It is up to me to give this situation a name. Am I going to see it in a positive light – through the eyes of the Loving Universe? That whatever I was hoping for just wasn’t meant to be. I can learn something and grow from the experience. Or am I going to see it in a negative light – as if I was being punished for something? That I failed again and was never really good enough to get it, anyway . . .
Same situation either way. I can still tell the truth about it and accept that it happened. No matter how I choose to view it.
If I choose the Loving Universe theory, I melt the negativity gripping my heart, my hand, my mind, my emotions. Things loosen up, settle down. And then I can see life even more clearly, the situation can come into sharper focus. It no longer hurts to look at it. I can see the picture better and because I’m not so afraid, upset, angry, frustrated, insecure, unsure . . . I can stand more confidently in who I am, in a far better, more stable position from which to take action. Whatever it might require. Rather than be standing on wobbly, over-wrought legs.
This grounded, positive stance gives me a calmer head for making choices before I act. It allows me to pause long enough to consider, rather than being run around by emotions. My E-motions, emoting me into an action I may not have chosen. It gives me a moment to make a better choice.
In the end, any choice is really okay. Making a choice is better than not. Any one will move me forward. But I have to imagine that a choice made in joy, from a more peaceful mind, is going to lead me to a more joyful place.
In honor of the Oscars I wanted to post this. I do believe, as creative beings, art is necessary in our lives. However, there is a lot of crap out there. It becomes a meaningful spiritual experience when we behold something truly great. I saw the film “3 Colors: Blue” recently. It was clearly a great film. Certainly a cut above so much of what’s out there. But, I wondered, why is that? I don’t know what criteria is used for the Oscars, but here are mine:
First rate acting, of course. Since this film was largely Juliette Binoche as the heart, it was her acting which really needed to be on. And she was fabulous!
As a writer, I always look for good writing. This film, though brilliantly written, was not about the words. Maybe that’s not so crucial. Let’s say the writing needs to be top notch to be a great film, there just doesn’t have to be a lot of it.
What it also had was stunning and often thought-provoking visuals. A film is, after all, a visual medium. Stories should be told substantially through the scenes. What you see in a great film has almost as much to do with the story and character development as the words they’re speaking.
It is a foreign film. So the action was sparse, as well. The thread of the story, though, pulled you along. That must be a qualification: a strong thread.
It was deep. About deep emotions and thoughts. It dared to show day-to-day activities, ones we can all relate to, which illustrate and often confront that emotion.
There was a scene where a cube of sugar is dipped into a cup of coffee. The writer and director, Krzysztof Kieslowski, in the extras, gave us a rather extensive description of what that action was to represent and how the absorption had to be exactly 5 seconds long. He told of all the time they took to get just the right sugar cube! Careful attention to the details is always the hallmark of a great film.
God is in the details. And so is a great film. A careful (if not obsessive ) eye on everything is essential, making sure everything contributes to the story, pulls the thread and moves the emotion and attention of the viewers.
Sometimes these details come out in happy coincidences (or the hand of the muse.) In the original version of this story, our heroine was supposed to be seen regularly jogging. They ended up having to change it to swimming. This more closely evoked the emotional distance they were trying to portray, as well as giving another blue light to the film. Perfect!
People who care, bring together the right elements, no matter the budget and allow fate and circumstances to fill in the rest. Perhaps this comes from the clear vision of the director, allowing for changes, but knowing the true intent.
I think a great film has to have something to say. Messages of all stripes are welcome. What’s most crucial is that the makers of the film are clear about what it is they want to say and feel it’s important. I like to see some growth in the main character, too. The film, to be great, needs to have a purpose, a point to make. (Sometimes that point may be that we need funny movies. See Sullivan’s Travels – another great film.)
In summary I’d say a great film has to have something to say, to share. It must have exceptionally good acting (at least from the central character), visuals which, along with strong writing express well, a compelling story.
When you finish watching a great film, you should feel something. You can tell you were affected in some way. There’s a sense of awe and quiet. You know you were just in the presence of greatness.
Emotions have a habit of collecting other emotions; especially similar ones. When you feel pain after stubbing your toe, you might start to wonder if someone is avoiding you. The next thing you know you’re aggravated at your printer! It can go so far as to make you feel like you’re being sucked into a downward spiral. A slight thought that someone did something wrong catches into feeling like they did it on purpose and before you know it, you’re boiling with anger!
When things are said to “escalate” that’s an example of the chain reaction. Emotions can be catching. There’s a well-used story of the guy who has a bad day at work, comes home and snaps at his wife, who is short with the child, who smacks the dog. One good deed, on the other hand, can cause someone to have a better day than usual, go home and do something helpful for a spouse, who gives the child some extra time. The child then feeds the dog, without being asked.
This chain reaction is what creates your life. You have a thought. It generates a feeling or emotion, which spurs you to action. You influence and create your world by the thoughts you have that put you into e-motion.
It’s important to watch for and pay attention to chain reactions of emotions, both in yourself and others. You may want to get out of the way if you don’t want to be affected by it. For you will.
Like running into a moving car (or the swoop of a loved ones arms), chain reactions of emotions have Effect. What kind of effect are you making with your thoughts?
So I’m reading a new book. Not sure where it came from. A used book store, I’m guessing. It’s called “Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting,” by Lynn Grabhorn. Ms. Grabhorn has a dry wit which keeps the words flowing. However, I’ve only just started the book.
It’s clearly (and with props) based on the work of Jerry and Esther Hicks. The Hicks, I believe, were the very first to bring attention to the masses of the Law of Attraction.
Lynn begins her book by talking about the key factor in this process: Your Feelings. Our thoughts create our feelings, but our emotions are the mechanism for the attraction. What we put out, exude (or our vibration, as Lynn calls it) is what attracts the people and situations to our lives.
Thoughts are where it begins and ends. Once the emotion takes hold, it’s very hard to make it stop. I’ve watched myself on a streak of “bad luck” when my feelings have taken a dive. Awareness is good, but it may well be too late. Thoughts are much easier to control.
Awareness of your emotions can sometimes lead you back to the thought. I’ve been practicing, lately, working on the thoughts to keep them from exploding into emotion. I’m using my Favorite Things. Whenever I’m feeling a little low, or more likely, when something happens that upsets me, I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad.
Technically, what happens is that I truly do feel better and cut off the destructive path of the out of control feelings. I am calmer and exude less of that static. This keeps my emotions and the situation from getting out of hand.
It only takes a moment’s awareness and perhaps 30 seconds (maybe as much as a minute if it’s really bad) of thinking over my list: sunny days, soft breezes, a cup of tea, Roger Howarth, Johnny Depp, having all day to write, weekend mornings, a great film, a cool drink of water . . . you need to make your own list so they can get you vibrating at a higher level!
Chellie Campbell is one of my favorite authors. I read from her Wealthy Spirit book every day. Today’s reading was about wearing emotions. Every day we wear our emotions. It is in our demeanor, the way we carry ourselves. Certainly, it’s in the words we use.
So what are you projecting? What emotions are seeping out without your choice?
What happens when you wear something like abundance? “Costly thy rainment as they purse will bear,” my mother used to say. But you don’t have to spend a dime to wear abundance. Feeling is all that’s required. And what a difference it can make in your day!
I love the phrase, wearing life like a loose fitting garment. When you’re in loose clothes you’re likely to have a lighter attitude. Remembering this phrase can create the experience no matter what you’re wearing.
It think it’s important to set the tone of my day by choosing how to I want to feel. It helps to keep me grounded when life tries to tell me how to feel.
As I carefully choose the clothes I will wear, I can also chose the emotions I will wear. And watch my day blossom!
Perhaps the quintessential conundrum is creating your own life and accepting what is. It’s hard to balance that. “I’m not happy with my life and I want to change it.” But in order to do that, I must first accept what is.
Acceptance feels a lot like acquiescence. If I accept my life just the way it is, isn’t that in some way saying it’s okay? What if it’s not okay? I mean, why would you want to change if it was okay?
Where is that line between accepting that you are in this situation and giving up? If you accept too much you might well slip into apathy. Thinking, “This is my lot in life, might as well just accept it.” This puts a huge weight on your shoulders that is not likely to go away.
There may well be another stance that is rooted in knowing that we create our lives through the thoughts we think, the e-motions we feel, and the consequent actions we take.
So, if the power is in your hands, acceptance doesn’t have to lead to resignation. It can just be a rest point to say, “Ah, yes, this is what’s happening.” To tell the truth about it. To attempt to see it without your filters.
This gives you a more accurate and complete awareness of what’s going on. The trick, perhaps, is in the controlling of the emotions. Seeing life for what it is, without judgements and filters, puts you in a solid position to do something about it. The emotion clouds your thinking. Too much fussing about what you or someone else did to create the circumstances you wish to change does nothing to help you find a way to make adjustments.
Your feelings and emotions can guide you, can give you added information, that’s for sure. But you probably already know you’re not pleased with what you see. So it’s no longer necessary to hold those thoughts and feelings.
A good remedy I’ve found for washing myself clean of some of those funky feelings is to look at and see clearly the things that ARE working, that are right in your life. That will calm you down enough to look at the reality of your life with a sharper eye. So you can accept what is and keep moving forward.
The other thing to remember is that life is change. So, even if you don’t like how things are going, they will change. Just not necessarily for the better. The firm stance in reality allows you to better guide your life in the way you choose.
The Positive Slant On the Path 