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1) Ask For It
You can’t expect anyone, not even God or the Universe, if you prefer, to give you what you want if you don’t ask. Getting clear on that is half the job. But if you don’t ask, it’s unlikely to make it past the dream state.
Getting clear is not always easy. It can entail some soul and heart searching. Choosing whether you want a blue or a green one can have an effect on the asking. The clearer you are, the better your chances of getting what you really want.
It does work better if you can divorce yourself from the concept and feeling tone of “want,” which indicates lack. Upgrade it to something more like a wish or a desire. Wanting adds a note of desperation which lessens the power in asking.
In mythical legends, there are often questions that must be asked before the hero can proceed. Asking is often more important than getting an answer.
Get your asking right and you are well on your way.
2) Be Sure
This is a more difficult and less concrete step. Sometimes I will ask God for something that I’m not entirely sure I want, or not completely convinced I deserve. “Be careful what you ask for” often holds me back. This is tantamount to not asking at all. The Universe cannot deliver on a request that is not sure. God cannot give you what you don’t really want. You might say, I really want this amazing job, but what will it do to my life, can I handle it? If there’s a conflict inside of you, it can stop your asking from being heard.
I’ve seen this in my life. When I have that kind of surety in me, it came a lot faster and with far more accuracy. When you direct unsure asking to the Universe, It may not always understand your request. If you’re not wholehearted, there’s not much It can do. We do have free will and you can’t be given something you don’t really want.
In spiritual circles we talk about moving into knowing whatever we’ve asked for is already here. That’s the fastest path. The deeper your belief in this, the swifter the delivery will be.
3) Take It
This may seem obvious, but is often overlooked in the process. So many of us ask God for something and He tries to hand it to us, but it’s not quite what we asked for . . . and so we dismiss it. Not a nice thing to do, is it? If God is trying to give us something, can we have enough grace to accept it? The good news is, God will keep offering until we take hold of it.
If you ask with clarity, are sure as heaven of what you’re asking for and you gratefully accept it when it comes – whether that’s healing or a new bicycle – there’s nothing you can’t have!
This week I saw the movie 2 Days in the Valley, which I talked about in Rants and Raves.
It got me thinking about the story-telling technique it used that I could write about for On Writing. The movie showed several disparate groups of people, revealed the connections between them as they crossed paths and then brought them together for all kinds of exciting consequences.
That led me to think about how combining people from various parts of our social networks opens us to new things. Everyone can grow from the experience. I wrote about that in On Business.
Taking the concept another step further, On the Path, I see that when there’s a confluence of energies, we end up with a lot more than what we bargained for. Fusing these energies, we expand our collective vision. Viewing situations from varied angles, different perspectives, separate personalities, new clarity can be reached. Illuminating more understanding and creating more refractions to see life in a new light.
It’s fusion! It’s kismet! It’s magic! Brilliant discoveries come from seeing the connections and putting our collective heads together. Great things happen when people’s energies are fused.
Look at all the refractions from one simple, every-day Hollywood movie from1996 in plain English! My seemingly unrelated Blogs have a common thread running through them this week.
There are new ways to see life everywhere, all around us, everyday, ready to reveal themselves to us. All we have to do is look.
I call them elementals because they are elemental to us all. Everyone has these things built-in.
1. Using the power of Dreams and Visions to create your intent.
Dreams and visions provide the most powerful information. Those things you dream of or see in happy visions are the things you most want, that you have the most passion for. This allows you to start off from the best possible place.
2. Using Clarity and Guidance to decide on your actions.
You use clarity to listen for Guidance. Clarity comes in between the breaths, in the silence, opening the portals for Guidance. Clarity can come into play after the Guidance, as well. It gives your steps surety and the clear eye to see what lies ahead.
3. Using Discipline and Choice to fuel those actions.
Actions need choice. You won’t do anything without choice. Discipline helps you to continue to make the choices. Discipline keeps you coming back to what you’ve chosen.
4. Using Openness and Acceptance to allow what comes.
Life doesn’t always move in a straight line. You have to be open to what comes to you. You many not yet see how it applies to your Intent. Accept what you get.
5. Using Gratitude and Flexibility to listen for your next move.
Having gratitude for what you created expands and shapes it. It also put you in mind to be flexible if the Guidance should take you in a new direction.
If you use these elementals you will find life happens easily, almost effortlessly.
Many people feel that loving yourself completely is selfish and that you’ll be so consumed with yourself, you’ll never have time for others. In fact, the opposite is true.
When you are fully in love with yourself, you are complete. You have what you need, so you no longer depend on others to supply you with the love and attention we all crave. It’s so freeing to release that need. Is there any more freedom than not needing anything from anybody?
Fully loving yourself means you are aware of all that’s so wonderful about yourself. You see how special you are, just the way you are. This gives a grounding, a sense of self esteem that’s solid. You no longer need to prove it.
When that constant striving is gone, what’s left is a knowing that you truly deserve love and attention. This makes you completely open to all the good stuff others want to give you. Rather than doubting or discounting it, you gobble up every bit. This creates an abundance of love building inside you.
From this overflow you can more deeply love and care for others. When you are full yourself, you don’t demand from others. You have so much more to give, without depleting your own supply. With more than you need, you willingly and easily give.
One of the ways I use to love myself more is to stop seeing myself through my own eyes and start thinking about how others see me. When I’m churning out phrases like “I’m such a loser,” “I have nothing of value to give,” I change my perspective and say, you know, my friends might see me in a different way. They might say I do have something to offer. Left to my own devices I might not be able to see what I have, but taking a different view helps to see the truth. This clarity will build up over time.
Taking good care of myself helps too. Whenever I do something nice for me, buy myself a gift, or make a choice that supports my health and well being, I feel self esteem growing.
Another tactic is to remember to offer myself congratulations when they are earned. It’s so easy to skip over the successes because there’s always another challenge ahead. But taking the time to pause and notice what I’ve done creates more fertile ground for the love to blossom.
Listing the things I like about myself is a fun activity. I start with rote items like a school report card, but then something happens. It shifts gear and I find surprising things about myself. The more of these gems I can find, the deeper I feel about myself. It makes sense: when you’re falling for someone you focus on those things you like best about them and your love grows.
SARK likes to give herself hugs. I’d like to hug her for that one. She knows a thing or two about loving yourself.
There are so many ways to love ourselves it’s a wonder we don’t do more of it!
Cheryl Richardson said, in “The Unmistakable Touch of Grace,” when we decide to have a more conscious life, one of the effects is “instead of seeing our experiences or encounters with others as random occurrences, we see them as deliberate spiritual events that remind us who we really are – magnificent souls being molded and shaped by sacred hands.”
This gets me thinking again about the people in my life. Everyone, from my partner to the “extras” who pass through. The chance encounters, the cashiers along the way, the delivery guy. What if I was to see all my encounters as “deliberate spiritual events”? Maybe I would treat them a little differently, think of them in a fresh way.
The person in front of me is not here to hold me up, but to teach me patience. That woman wasn’t being selfish, she was letting me practice compassion and equanimity. That guy isn’t trying to waste my time, he is in need and hoping I can help him.
Some people are mirrors, reflecting back to us things we may not see in ourselves. I find sometimes, if I am listening, I overhear something. I may not even know the context, but the words illuminate something I haven’t seen before and I get clarity. What a gift that person was to me! He or she may not even have a clue, not even know who I am. There are those magical moments when you’re standing at a bus stop, for instance, and someone shares words of wisdom with you and then fades into the back drop of other riders on the bus.
The trick is to see everyone like that. Even if it’s not a life changing encounter. But to see all encounters as sacred, as touching your life in some way.
This brings a new light to all your relationships, encounters, and interactions. It makes life so much more beautiful and vital! Rather than looking for what you or the other can gain out of the relationship, if instead you are looking for the gift, the light of growth, doesn’t that sound like more fun?
I’m going to try to see every interaction – especially those which are a bit trying – as sacred.
Seems an odd way to go about things. But check this out:
What if you asked yourself questions for the day? How many people can I serve today? Whether that’s by taking action for someone or just smiling, holding the door or nodding.
You might ask yourself – how am I feeling today? What could I do to feel better/even better? It’s always a good idea to ask that question several times throughout the day. How am I doing now? It makes you pause and return to the present moment. You must pay attention in the now to know how you’re feeling.
Perhaps you’re working on a project, a dream or a goal. You might ask: What can I do today (or now) to move this ahead?
Questions can come in handy when you’re learning something. Ask for clarity or voice a supposition. You’ll be surprised how much you can expand from doing that.
Sometimes asking questions of others can be a little scary. I know I often shy away. So it’s a good way to practice being more assertive. If you’ve got a burning question, ask it. You know, they say, there are no stupid questions. I’m of the belief that it’s far more stupid not to ask questions. Questioning means you’re thinking. You can’t know everything.
Paulette Terrels, in her “Whispering” today asked, “What are your plans for today? Who will you share your generous heart with? Can you find the sacred in the simple things?” Good questions. She tells us that “life is lived within our questions.” Those questions can shape how our day will go. Paulette further challenges us to be open to receive the answers we get.
Ahh, now that’s an important piece. What are the answers? Where are they? Could we find them in the present moment, in flashes of Grace, in the chance hearing of a lyric that grabs you, in the kind words of a friend?
I plan to design my days around some conscious questions. How about you?
As we approach Thanksgiving, everyone is talking about being grateful. Anyone who reads this Blog knows I am a strong proponent of Gratitude. Forgiveness is a marvelous key to open the gates of appreciation.
I have had many discussions with those who say complete forgiveness is impossible. There are just some things which are unforgivable. How can I forgive someone who is so clearly in the wrong, or has hurt me so deeply? Fiddle faddle! I don’t know if I can convince the doubters, but maybe my humble treatise on forgiveness may help change the minds of one or two.
When something happens which creates one of those difficult things to forgive, your heart is filled with anger, hurt or disappointment. And those feelings grip you tightly. They crowd your mind with thoughts of the incident over and over.
Forgiveness could be another word for release. What it does is release your heart and mind from its constant churning. That’s all. It might have some residual benefits for the other person, but only if that person loves or cares for you. The big and important change is in you. It is all about bringing more peace to you.
I had an experience recently with someone who hurt me deeply and left a trail of destruction in her wake. She is out of my life now; I made my peace with her. But I still think of the situation too often, wanting some kind of vindication. Only total forgiveness will free me from this. That forgiveness will not offer her anything and it will never erase what she’s done. It will, though, lighten my heart and my mind.
With that lightness comes more energy. Anyone who has not forgiven knows the amount of energy (and time) given when you are in that state. When you can’t get it out of your head. (I’ve also been known to spend a lot of ink on the subject.) There’s so much you can regain simply by releasing all your angst around the situation.
Acceptance is part of the process of forgiveness. I am of the belief that Acceptance is a truly powerful gift we have. The simple act of acceptance can profoundly effect every aspect of your life. Just think how easy life would be if you accepted everything that happened to you! Far from making you weak, it keeps you from getting bogged down in trying to change things you can’t and empowers you to change what you can. The first step to releasing is accepting what happened.
When you get really good at accepting, you negate the need for forgiveness. You forgive in the next breath and keep moving. Like magic, the need for forgiveness evaporates right before your eyes. This doesn’t mean you won’t be careful next time. In fact, without the cloud of unforgiveness you are likely to be more aware and avoid the kinds of situation which can cause you to need to forgive.
This acceptance and release gives you much more space for gratitude.
Forgiveness NEVER says it’s okay to harm another. Nor does it eliminate the possibility of punishment for the other. It has nothing to do with any of that. Forgiveness offers the forgiver calm, happiness, lightness, clarity and flowing gratitude. Pretty good stuff!
The other day I stumbled upon the Orin and DaBen site. “Creating Money” is one of my all time favorite books. It changed my life and how I look at a lot of things.
Almost everyone who talks about creating or attracting abundance stresses clarity. I, too, have seen firsthand how important it can be. Whether or not you believe that the Universe delivers what you ask specifically for, it still makes sense in the practical, dense world to be clear on what you’re after.
I set a few intentions the other day and realized I was feeling uncomfortable about some of my choices. The process starts with identifying and acknowledging that discomfort. Then, you need to be willing to sit with it, to poke around and find out what it’s about.
When you choose something new, it often entails getting rid of something else. I was concerned about what others might think about that. But, seeing it clearly, I could reassure myself that if it is the right thing for me to do, others would understand, eventually. This felt like an important enough change to make. Without being clear on what was bothering me, I might have held myself back (or at least made it more difficult than it needed to be.)
There were also some aspects of this change that had me thinking, in the back of my mind, that things might turn out the way they have in the past and I wasn’t sure I wanted to go back there. But I realize, after hearing those thoughts, that I can make it what I want it to be. And if I keep thinking that things will turn out the same way, they are likely to do just that. In the end, the difference will be in how I handle the change, how I react to it. That is completely in my control and not something to be feared.
Knowing these things has opened the path in front of me. It’s made a large change more manageable Rather than allowing that vague discomfort to linger, I took the time to listen to what I was telling myself, to feel what I was feeling. I can see now that I can prepare others for this change, making it easier for therm. And I’ll be aware enough so that I can control how things will play out and avoid past mistakes.
All because of a little clarity.
“The closer you approach a goal, the more the polarities associated with it are amplified.” – Alan Cohen
I feel I’m on the brink of reaching a goal I’ve been working on for the better part of a year. As I get closer, my vision of it gets clearer. This clarity allows those polarities to reveal themselves.
I see the path more clearly now, from this perspective. I can almost see the end of my journey, but between me and it is still a road to walk. The refractions and reflections bouncing off the work I’ve already done, reveals that I have been dispersing my energy. And I have obstacles to get through, yet.
May I use the analogy of hooking a rug . . . As you work with pulling the individual strands of yarn through the weave, it takes a while – you must get closer to your goal of the completed rug – to see any imperfections, any wrong or loose threads.
In this way you can begin to tweak the path, hone in on what’s really essential. If you’ll pardon the mixed metaphors, smooth the rough edges, clear away any unnecessary clogs, plug any leaks, secure any weak spots.
But you must first reach that place, close to your goal so you can see it. So the polarities become clearer.
But this is also a vulnerable place where you can turn and run. Where the polarities can look so formidable you’re not sure you should move ahead. But the trick is to stay with it. To see these polarities as guide posts, showing you the way to travel safely through.
Let the polarities move you forward with all speed!
The Positive Slant On the Path 