So What?

Such a simple questions, but how powerful it is!

In resume writing, we ask ourselves that question.  “Organized all files.”  So what?  Who cares about that?  What was the result?  What did it mean for the person you did it for?  How did that make you important to them?  This forces you to think in terms of accomplishments rather than tasks.

Getting in the habit of asking yourself that question (not only in resume writing) helps you to see the impact of what you do. To think of the things you do everyday, even the small things, as having value.

So What is also a very handy antidote to perfectionism.  What if I didn’t get everything done I hoped I would or as well as I wanted?  So what?  Will the world end because everything didn’t get dealt with today in just the right way?  There is always tomorrow.  Maybe it’s important.  Maybe it isn’t.

This person said that!! Oh my!  So what?  Does it change the truth?  This simple question can help you find a way out of anger.  To step over the need to be right.

Actions have consequences.  But usually not as dramatic as our thoughts may have us believe.  That chatter can make us miss the real effects of our actions.

Let So What make your life a little easier.  And it’s so easy to remember!

Noting Our Own Good

As an addendum to my last post, not only can we note when things are good, when they go right, but also when we do something right or good.  It’s so easy to dismiss our achievements or play them down.  When a friend does something wonderful, we are more likely to praise and encourage her to celebrate a good win.  For myself, “Ahh, it was nothing.  Not a big  deal. Probably just a fluke anyway.”  Or I decide I will celebrate, but end up forgetting or falling short in my festivities. 

It seems funny to be shy about these things.  When there’s so much good which can come from celebrating our wins, even the small ones.  I think we are hesitant because we are afraid of getting a “big head.” What does that mean, anyway?  The trouble comes when we only focus on our own wins and ignore those of others. Thinking we are the only one who can win. Or when we start to make up fake accomplishments.

I’m not a psychologist, but my guess is that people who we might say have a “big  head” don’t really appreciate the things they do.  I think that kind of egotistical attitude comes from insecurity. More of a lack of belief in one’s self.  If you felt really good about yourself, you’d have the spaciousness of generosity to allow and share in others’ successes. You certainly would have no reason to make things up.

So, I’m going to try to be less embarrassed by my successes and allow myself to feel them, to revel in them, as my Coach says. I doubt I’ll let myself get caught there. After all there are always more accomplishments, more successes to achieve!

Reframing

I’m following up on my pledge for this past week to not obsess over my schedule nor stress over what doesn’t happen. It’s hard to say if I got more done. It was close. I certainly made progress on my goals and I do feel calmer. The winds of fate cannot blow me over so easily. Even without a tight plan, I managed to stay on track and not skin my knees.

I want to keep doing this. There is no clear cut difference in my productivity, only my mood. But there is another element here. Reframing is an intriguing concept. It’s about developing a new perspective, viewing things from a different angle. As if you took a picture frame and tilted it and looked through it in another direction.

I did move ahead on all of my objectives and that has to mean something. Instead of griping that I had 5 things to do and only did 3, I can reframe it and focus on the things I did accomplish.

My mind tends to find what I still have to do far more interesting and compelling than what I’ve done. Once I’ve completed a task, I instantly jump to the next objective. Where do I leave myself time to appreciate or feel good about what I’ve done? If I looked at it in a new way, spent a little more time seeing what I’ve done, maybe I wouldn’t feel so disappointed with my achievements.

And I can reframe my objectives, too. I don’t have to get everything done this week. It’s a whole lot easier to set my sights low and then get more done than I expected. That will leave me feeling confident which can inspire me to the next thing, instead of leave me defeated and dragging. I can always do more.

So, I hope to do better next week. Not expect so much of myself while continuing to move ahead on my projects. And not let an unexpected visitor, a change of plans or an un-stocked store get me down. Going with the flow makes me a happier and more congenial person. Just by seeing things from a re-framed angle.