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1) Ask For It
You can’t expect anyone, not even God or the Universe, if you prefer, to give you what you want if you don’t ask. Getting clear on that is half the job. But if you don’t ask, it’s unlikely to make it past the dream state.
Getting clear is not always easy. It can entail some soul and heart searching. Choosing whether you want a blue or a green one can have an effect on the asking. The clearer you are, the better your chances of getting what you really want.
It does work better if you can divorce yourself from the concept and feeling tone of “want,” which indicates lack. Upgrade it to something more like a wish or a desire. Wanting adds a note of desperation which lessens the power in asking.
In mythical legends, there are often questions that must be asked before the hero can proceed. Asking is often more important than getting an answer.
Get your asking right and you are well on your way.
2) Be Sure
This is a more difficult and less concrete step. Sometimes I will ask God for something that I’m not entirely sure I want, or not completely convinced I deserve. “Be careful what you ask for” often holds me back. This is tantamount to not asking at all. The Universe cannot deliver on a request that is not sure. God cannot give you what you don’t really want. You might say, I really want this amazing job, but what will it do to my life, can I handle it? If there’s a conflict inside of you, it can stop your asking from being heard.
I’ve seen this in my life. When I have that kind of surety in me, it came a lot faster and with far more accuracy. When you direct unsure asking to the Universe, It may not always understand your request. If you’re not wholehearted, there’s not much It can do. We do have free will and you can’t be given something you don’t really want.
In spiritual circles we talk about moving into knowing whatever we’ve asked for is already here. That’s the fastest path. The deeper your belief in this, the swifter the delivery will be.
3) Take It
This may seem obvious, but is often overlooked in the process. So many of us ask God for something and He tries to hand it to us, but it’s not quite what we asked for . . . and so we dismiss it. Not a nice thing to do, is it? If God is trying to give us something, can we have enough grace to accept it? The good news is, God will keep offering until we take hold of it.
If you ask with clarity, are sure as heaven of what you’re asking for and you gratefully accept it when it comes – whether that’s healing or a new bicycle – there’s nothing you can’t have!
I woke up the other morning thinking these two thoughts. For me, this is another one of those elegant, but unlikely combinations.
Many times when we think of Perseverance, images are conjured of gritted teeth and clinched fists. Stiff backs of determination to pursue, no matter what the weather.
Grace, on the other hand, evokes the feeling of moving easily. It has a reflective quality. A deep down assurance of Purpose. Grace makes one think of charm and balance. It’s got forgiveness all over it. Seems so gentile next to Perseverance. But the truth is, Grace may move delicately, but it continues to move.
Grace, I believe, is also the stuff that Miracles are made of. Grace from the light of God fills Miracles and makes them shine brightly. Grace keeps the dazzling light going.
What if we use Grace with Perseverance? When we add them together, we have far more powerful fuel. With Grace by our side, we can keep going with ease, we can flow along willingly and with agility. And a song in our hearts.
Julia Cameron’s book, “Finding Water” gives us a powerful but softer way to look at Perseverance. She shows us that it can be a very spiritual tool in living our lives well and doing what we choose to do. With these two features working hand-in-hand, we can keep moving with ease and willingness.
This came from A Course in Miracles lessons. It was speaking about how we are “at one” with the creative process and therefore have limitless “power and peace.”
On the surface they appear very different. Power is strong and forward moving. Maybe even a tad aggressive. Whereas Peace is quiet and to itself. Seems an odd pairing.
When you think about it, though, what else do you need?
If you have Power (especially of the creation sort, but the energy as well) you can manifest whatever you need. All that Power can make you feel empty inside. Sure, I’ve got all this, but what does it really do for me? Where is the meaning?
Peace keeps you grounded and happy. With the addition of Peace, simple, unassuming Peace, you are able to see the true effects of your Power. Experience it on a deeper level, you can nod your head and say, “Ahh, I see now.” How well they work together! And how truly powerful you can be with both.
As I am working A Course in Miracles through Chris Cade, I’ve found this intriguing idea: “Forgiveness is our only function.” This is a powerful notion and something that could change a person’s life forever. The Course is saying that we all hold the power of salvation in us through our forgiveness. Is this really all we have to do? To find out, I thought it would pay to take a deeper look at forgiveness. What is it anyway?
There are a lot of ways to look at it. One way is to see it as letting go of the past. Marianne Williamson called it, “a discernment between what is real and what is not real.” In legal terms it means releasing, giving up rights. Yes, I can see that: releasing the right to hold onto this thing that happened in the past. Forgiveness is about: healing, renouncing, and setting free – both you and the person or circumstance that harmed you.
It is most assuredly tied to surrender and faith. Forgiveness is a surrendering and acceptance of what happened. It asks you to surrender, or give up of all the stories you’ve been telling about it over and over. Releasing your need to be right or justified in your actions.
Forgiveness asks you to have faith that the other is far more than all the things she thinks she is. Because you know she is more than she thinks she was capable of being when she hurt you. It’s a leap of faith to say I believe there is innocence in all people. No matter what they’ve done. To be willing to see through what is apparent to what all of us are at our core: innocent. In many cases it takes faith to see beyond all a person’s stuff to who he really is. To see beyond the offence.
I like thinking of forgiveness as seeing through misunderstanding to innocence or at least understanding. I’ve been tossing around this notion of doubt around forgiveness. That if you understood that you never need doubt the other’s completeness, worthiness, and innocence, you wouldn’t need to forgive. So it becomes a matter of seeing more clearly, the innocent person beyond, who is just scared, hurt or unknowing. Just another soul – made of the same stuff as me and the entire Universe.
Neale Donald Walsch warned us that God will never forgive us for anything. No matter what we’ve done, how we plead and cry and moan. Because in God’s eyes we have never done anything to forgive. We, on the other hand, have plenty of work to do in forgiving ourselves and others. A Course in Miracles talks of “grievances.” Our unforgivens are loaded with them.
Maybe this is how God wants to use us: As instruments of forgiveness. What amazing things that can do us and the rest of the world!
Forgiveness lightens our burdens. Whenever we forgive, ourselves or others, we lose some weight off our shoulders. Life becomes easier. We can feel safer, more at ease. Protected.
Forgiveness is extremely healing to the body. There are those in the healing profession who say that all illness, of all kinds, is linked to an unforgiven. It’s damaging to our physical bodies to hold onto stuff that should long ago have been released. There are science-backed reports of those who have been cured by forgiving. Forgiveness is powerful stuff. Anyone who has let go of a big one will testify how healing it can be to forgive. Perhaps forgiveness is our best medicine.
What a concept that forgiveness is our only function! Something the Dalai Llama expresses so beautifully in everything His Holiness does, no matter what has happened.
I have always fancied the notion that our function is to expand our capacity to love. I liked that idea. But isn’t that what forgiving is all about? Expanding our capacity to love and accept? And in the process, gaining more clarity. I feel the best thing you can do for someone else, the way to give them the most love is to accept them for exactly who they are, at this moment. That feeling of being accepted for who you are, not judged for anything, is a pretty groovy way to feel. Forgiveness does that. It’s a perfect vehicle for spreading love.
Many people bristle at the notion of forgiveness. As if it means to condone actions that are hurtful and are otherwise inappropriate behavior. Maybe they could see it simply as a release of something from your own heart. It is something that happened in the past. It comes nowhere near saying that it was okay. (There is a wide gap between forgiveness and trust.) Just that you are choosing to put it down. To stop telling stories about it. To stop letting it affect your present moment. Refusing to forgive is all about the other person or thing and what it did or didn’t do to you. (Or the horrible thing you did or didn’t do.)
Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. (Save for the incident that triggered it.) The person need not be in front of you, on this planet, or by all means even “worthy” of it. You are simply releasing the guilt, ceasing to tell about how you were wronged. Giving it up. You can’t change what’s happened. And no amount of clinging to your hurt feelings will erase it. In the case of a loved one, it’s likely that whatever they’ve done, you’ve probably done yourself.
Forgiveness is seeing through to the person who did the best they could with what they had to work with – what they knew, how they felt about themselves, what fears or wounds they carried. (That doesn’t mean you have to let the person back in your life or your house.) It merely clears the way between you. It allows you to release the burden you’ve been carrying in that unforgiven. It’s a heavy load. You realize that if that person had been connected to his or her true self, neither of them would’ve done that hurtful thing.
I, personally, find it easier to forgive others than myself. Being my constant companion, I have borne witness to all my misdeeds, missteps and betrayals. Often times judging myself harsher in the situation than the wronged party. There’s a lot more on my ledger sheet! It boggles the mind what I could do if I let go of all those grievances!
Maybe something this Big could be our only function.
Please let me know your thoughts on forgiveness.
I read a sad, but interesting story recently in Caroline Myss’ legendary book, “The Anatomy of the Spirit.” In it, Caroline indicated that though the person in the story was willing, it wasn’t the same as surrendering. I love those shades of meaning from a linguistic point of view. But, if you notice your body when you say, “I am willing,” versus “I surrender,” you may see that there is a physical difference between the two, as well.
When you are willing, you’re geared up, you’re leaning forward, you’re ready, you might even be gritting your teeth. Isn’t that often accompanied by a desire to do something, maybe even to get something for it? What’s really going on, though, could be closer to resigning to it. I’m willing to do it, because it’s for my own good, I know it will turn out for the best … When you surrender, it’s like letting out a long breath. You sink in, you relax, you release, you give up.
We all so love to be in control. I, myself, am quite fond of predictability. I like having some idea what’s going to happen next. And I’ve found that need for predictability can be present whether you’re a home-based worker, a 50 hour a week employee, a new mother, or a trust fund baby. We are so often scrambling to build predictability into our lives. It’s hard to give up control, even when we really don’t need to hold on so tightly.
This Surrendering certainly entails faith on some level. Can we say a willingness to surrender? Paulette Terrels often speaks of being willing to be willing. That is certainly a step on the journey. But we just haven’t crossed the threshold until we are ready to surrender. When we can acknowledge everything that happens to us is perfect. Everything. Even those little annoyances when you just can’t get the lid on straight!! It’s Susan Jeffers’ chant that “It’s all happening perfectly.” Being able to let go, at every moment, and let it be what it is. Surrendering to whatever is going on.
Things go better with willingness, that’s for sure. I often marvel at what I can accomplish when I’m willing. But no matter what I do, how much I can get done, if I look, I will find below the surface, an element of resignation keeping my hands on the reins. And no matter how willing I may be, I am always susceptible to running straight into that brick wall. That one thing where I say, No! I’m not going any further, I’m no longer willing.
With surrender, there is no limit. There is no stopping point where I can’t surrender any more. I’ve already surrendered everything. In that moment.
We all want to feel connected. Whether that’s to our mate, our children, our friends and family, our co-workers, our community, our planet or our God.
I believe that a lot of the discomfort we suffer is when we feel disconnected. Is that what the explosion of social media is about? Are people finding the connection they were seeking? I don’t know.
We are strange creatures, we humans. And we have been put in odd circumstances. As individualized facets of this whole, there is no one who is exactly like us. We need no one else to live our lives well. Though we are so much more when we’re connected to another.
We are not dependent, but interconnected. Our actions have far reaching consequences. We are all made of the same stuff and have a connection that is not often apparent to our outer eye.
If we believe in this interconnectedness (and it is easy to see if we’re looking) and make an attempt to really feel it, we might never feel alone again.
Here is what some others have to say about it:
“The earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth. All things are connected like the blood that unites us all. Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.”
— Chief Seattle
“The fundamental delusion of humanity is to suppose that I am here and you are out there.” – Yasutani Roshi, Zen master (1885-1973)
Far from making me feel different and special, my [spiritual] experiences made me feel the same, ordinary, and interconnected. If I felt more spiritual, everyone else felt more spiritual as well.”– Julia Cameron from God is No Laughing Matter
The reality today is that we are all interdependent and have to co-exist on this small planet. Therefore, the only sensible and intelligent way of resolving differences and clashes of interests, whether between individuals or nations, is through dialogue. – The Dalai Lama
A human being is a part of the whole, called by us, “Universe,” a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest — a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security — Albert Einstein
Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.
— Martin Luther King, Jr
The welfare of each is bound up in the welfare of all. — Helen Keller
When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world. ~ John Muir
We have a stake in one another … what binds us together is greater than what drives us apart, and … if enough people believe in the truth of that proposition and act on it, then we might not solve every problem, but we can get something meaningful done for the people with whom we share this Earth. — Barack Obama
“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom
Let it shine!
As I Look for Peace as my intention, I wish to actively seek joy. I’ve been seeking joy lately in the simple things: My work, family and friends, a beautiful day . . .
But too often I find that joy dampened. Some days the work becomes frustrating, the possibilities dim, and people let me down. A beautiful day can turn gray and sour in no time. Seeking joy becomes as fruitless as chasing after that damned elusive pimpernel.
Stan Gale, in his forthcoming book “A Vine-Ripened Life” tells us that joy cannot be found in the changing circumstances of our lives. But that we can rejoice even when things are dark.
This got me thinking that I could find joy in everything. I know that there is always something to feel joyful about – a glimmer of hope, a sliver of light, an undercurrent of gratitude or a seed of faith. With enough practice I could release my choking grasp on those circumstances that are easy to love. When I know that I will find joy tomorrow, even if it rains, I can enjoy today without all the tension which drains joy like an uncorked bathtub.
Circumstances will continue to change. It’s a fact of life. We will die, things will decompose. In 250 years, everything that’s here will be gone. There are those who say we all long for something solid we can count on. But there is no such thing in the life we lead. Only God is unchanging.
As Dr Gale advises, I will seek joy in God and His love for me. Find joy in the life He has given me, and in our friendship. And rejoice in that. For it is available to me every minute of every day. No matter the weather.
I am of the belief that Faith is some powerful juju. Along with trust, it’s one of those things we come equipped with. It requires no tools to have faith. No money, no help. Just a choice.
Julia Cameron says we can practice trusting. But Faith, for some reason, feels easier to me. Trust seems like something you must actively do. Stand up and trust. But faith feels like something I can rest into.
This faith business is active in many areas of life. Certainly in religious circles. But also around money. In most deals and interactions there must be a certain amount of faith. “Money is a substance which faith attracts.” In God we trust. Full faith and credit . . .
We have faith the sun will rise and most of the time that our bank is solvent. We have faith that we will get paid for the work we do. That the computer will boot up and all our files will be there. Our favorite shows will air as scheduled.
But Trust can be limiting if we are expecting a particular thing. What if we have faith, we just know that someone will act in some kind of negative way? Our expectations pave the way for that behavior.
In “Friendship with God,” there was a question raised about how to trust more. God said that if you fully trust, you no longer need to. A Master has no expectations, no need for anything to happen in a particular way. She simply accepts whatever is happening. God said, “If you have faith that all your needs will be met, then, technically, you have no needs at all.” And therefore, don’t need to trust.
In her book, “The Feel the Fear Guide to Lasting Love,” Susan Jeffers suggests that sharing what we know is a good way to show we love someone.
She was speaking about our traditional roles as men and women. Men, easily, seem to know how to fix things. Where women are more practiced in the art of nurturing. What if we made a conscious effort to teach each other what we know?
What a win-win situation this is! I get to talk about something I know well and you get to learn something new. Something in that process passes between us and strengthens our relationship. Making us more than the sum of our parts.
I can think of no better way to give something of ourselves. And won’t the receiver be so much richer for getting something so precious? It is a yin-yang balance that just feels right. Doesn’t it just feel ancient and wise to pass along what we know?
This sharing of knowledge has plenty of benefits. It makes us all more well-rounded, more capable people. It allows us to meld our complementary skills and talents. Creating a better world for it. Surely, it would enhance the education of any child in the vicinity!
Even more importantly, it creates a bridge of understanding between us. As I learn from you, I get a clearer picture of who you are and how you operate.
It’s a chance to show and tell how you see something. Sharing your passion and wisdom on a subject. People love to talk about themselves and their lives. We all, in a way, really just want to be heard. This transferring of a skill, talent or passion is a way to be heard while giving something in return.
Can we put a value on education? On expansion? The cost of a college degree or a certificate program? What about a lifetime of learning, person-to-person, me to you, you to me? As free as love.
The Positive Slant On the Path 