I love playing with words!  Comparing them and finding the subtle differences.

Confidence feels to me like something that is built.  I find myself using what’s going on around me in the construction.  If things are going my way, I tend to feel more confident.  Others can fill in the gaps in my confidence by praising me, too. Confidence with deeper roots comes from doing what I say I’m going to do.  Accomplishing things.

What a wonderful thing it is to have Confidence!  With it you feel your strong back bone. There’s empowerment in your steps.  In this state, you may be less susceptible to the changing winds.  Confidence is a very good thing.  Due to the material it’s built with though, it can, alternately, come crashing down at any time.

Another aspect of confidence is that it can grow too big for its foundation.  Too much confidence makes you do things you maybe shouldn’t try.  When it’s in abundance, it sure feels good. But it requires a certain amount of regulation.

In a recent conversation with Annette Carpien, The Relationship Coach, she suggested that to build confidence I could be more assertive.  No, I thought, I need confidence to be assertive, right?  Annette sees it a different way.

Unlike confidence, Assertiveness is not “built.”  It need not be erected on what you or others say or do.  It is something you, alone, must choose to wield.  Like Courage. We all come equipped with it and to use it takes merely your activation of it.

Sure. There is no denying that having confidence makes it easer to be assertive. But there is no reason you have to have it to assert yourself. You wield Assertiveness simply through your choice.

I will admit that it’s wise to give the use of your assertion some thought. Answering some questions about how you’re going to use it, for instance.  Choosing your words for the least amount of impact on the other. You may want to think about when and where you wish to exercise it, as well

Practice in using your Assertiveness muscle will certainly make it stronger and contribute much to the job of building Confidence.