Okay, so we’ve progressed far enough along the path to know that it is NEVER anyone else’s fault. We know that we create our own reality.  Whatever you’ve just done to me, I’ve done something to call it forth. (This is NOT about “legitimate” or “illegitimate” rape.  The Justice System is another matter entirely.  This is about personal growth.)  We have learned to take responsibility for our own actions.  And forgive others, quickly.

If you’re not getting where you wish to go, not evolving into the person (or circumstance) you wish, that’s all coming from you.  Your intentions and willingness.  It’s not often easy to spot our true intentions, but when we discover them (and take the time to search) we know why.  Forgiveness of others can wash over us, easily.

The problem is that if you know this, it puts the blame for everything, the fault back on you, no matter what.  In the end, that’s freeing.  If you created it, you can fix it.  You are not a bad person you’re just misinformed or made a mistake – which is growth.  You made a choice that brought you here, where you need to be.  Simple as that.

But that’s not always how it feels.  It’s very easy to get caught up in, “I did this. It’s my fault. Why can’t I get things right?”  When you’ve been working a long time on your personal growth, how can you allow yourself to sink back into that guilt?  And yet it is as easy as slipping into sleep.

So, how do you turn this back around?  Self forgiveness is the only way. “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  We have practiced long and hard to forgive others.  When we reach a certain point that comes naturally.   Now, it’s time to apply the same tactics to ourselves.  We can learn to let it go, to clear out the blame and guilt.  We can make a choice not to look back. Then we can come back to the business of making new choices.

It’s odd how we do this.  But I guess, with no other place to put the blame, it quite easily falls back on us.  I’m going to practice forgiving myself as quickly as I forgive others.