Many people feel that loving yourself completely is selfish and that you’ll be so consumed with yourself, you’ll never have time for others.  In fact, the opposite is true.

When you are fully in love with yourself, you are complete.  You have what you need, so you no longer depend on others to supply you with the love and attention we all crave.  It’s so freeing to release that need.  Is there any more freedom than not needing anything from anybody?

Fully loving yourself means you are aware of all that’s so wonderful about yourself.  You see how special you are, just the way you are.  This gives a grounding, a sense of self esteem that’s solid.  You no longer need to prove it.

When that constant striving is gone, what’s left is a knowing that you truly deserve love and attention.  This makes you completely open to all the good stuff others want to give you.  Rather than doubting or discounting it, you gobble up every bit. This creates an abundance of love building inside you.

From this overflow you can more deeply love and care for others. When you are full yourself, you don’t demand from others. You have so much more to give, without depleting your own supply. With more than you need, you willingly and easily give.

One of the ways I use to love myself more is to stop seeing myself through my own eyes and start thinking about how others see me.  When I’m churning out phrases like “I’m such a loser,” “I have nothing of value to give,” I change my perspective and say, you know, my friends might see me in a different way.  They might say I do have something to offer.  Left to my own devices I might not be able to see what I have, but taking a different view helps to see the truth.  This clarity will build up over time.

Taking good care of myself helps too.  Whenever I do something nice for me, buy myself a gift, or make a choice that supports my health and well being, I feel self esteem growing. 

Another tactic is to remember to offer myself congratulations when they are earned.  It’s so easy to skip over the successes because there’s always another challenge ahead.  But taking the time to pause and notice what I’ve done creates more fertile ground for the love to blossom.

Listing the things I like about myself is a fun activity.  I start with rote items like a school report card, but then something happens.  It shifts gear and I find surprising things about myself. The more of these gems I can find, the deeper I feel about myself. It makes sense:  when you’re falling for someone you focus on those things you like best about them and your love grows.

SARK likes to give herself hugs.  I’d like to hug her for that one.  She knows a thing or two about loving yourself.

There are so many ways to love ourselves it’s a wonder we don’t do more of it!

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