This past weekend, I was away. Spent a lot of delicious time in a swimming pool, floating and doing laps as I pleased.  It was wonderful!  But I kept thinking, all too soon it will disappear. I felt myself grasping tightly at each moment.

That was uncomfortable and not at all joyful.

So, I thought, what would make me feel better?  Perhaps if I felt eager to get back to work.  That way I could enjoy this moment as icing on the cake.

But, I’m not eager to get back to work, I retorted. What if I just tell myself I am, even if I’m not?  The minute I did, I felt better, I eased up on the moment. 

I searched my mind for a time when I was eager to get back to work. There have been days, sitting at the kitchen table in the morning, eating breakfast, feeling eager to get to the desk and back into a writing a project I was excited about.  I used that.

Did it make the experience last longer?  Not really, but it allow me to rest into the present.  I was no longer clinging to the experience like it would slip through my fingers.  I was able to relax and just be there instead of thinking about the inevitable return.

Now, I balk at all this telling lies business.  I’m a truthful person and I don’t lie.  But who is it hurting for me to tell myself this white lie that I’m eager to get back to work?  It’s only between me and my inner psyche.  I’m only using it to bring out a feeling.  If just telling myself I’m eager to get back to work makes me feel more flowing and at ease, why not? It’s only my thought that tells me I can’t.

I’m going to practice using this technique on other things.  I’m going to tell myself what I want to feel instead of waiting for my fears and doubts to decide.

I can say what is so!

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