I’ve been hearing a lot of sad stories lately.  Some desperately sad, some not so much. But what I’ve found is this:  Many of the people who lead the truly sad and difficult lives, don’t talk much about it.  I wonder why that is.
I don’t mean to diminish the trials and tribulations of others.  I know there is great suffering in the world. And I know how very blessed I am.

The trouble is I’m finding many people who, for no apparent reason, want to talk about all the problems in their lives.  Now, there are surely times when you need to explain yourself and I see nothing wrong with that.  You have to tell the truth:  “I can’t attend the dance, I broke my leg.”  However, I see no relevance in going on to tell all about how your husband has left you, the roof is leaking and you have to decide whether or not to put your mother in a nursing home.

Again, I don’t mean to be cruel here.  If I can help you make your decision, fix your roof or forget about your husband, I’m happy to do so.

The problem lies, I believe, in the need people have to tell their sad stories.  As if talking about them will make them go away.  But I’m not entirely convinced they want my help to heal the wounds, or remove the hardships, they just want to talk about it.  Maybe they want my sympathy. Again, I’m fine with giving my sympathy but I don’t know if it’s the healthiest thing for the other person.

Sometimes you do need to talk about it.  But you don’t need to keep talking about it,  talk to anyone who will listen. It’s a good thing to be “able” to talk about it, for sure.  But the more you talk about it the more you become one with it.  This, I suspect, can attract more of the same stuff.

Why is it that so many people who go through hardship seem to have so much of it heaped on them? 

I believe in the notion that it is an energetic world.  When you are vibrating at a certain level, you attract the same level of vibration.  It only makes sense.  So, if you’re talking all the time about how bad everything is, you’re likely to be calling out for the same kind of vibration.

Caroline Myss talks about “woundology.”  People who wear their woes like a badge.

So, what do you do?  Lie instead?  Am I advocating that you say everything’s wonderful when it isn’t?  I think it depends on the situation.  If you’re talking to your therapist – probably best to spill it all out.  If your friend asks you how the divorce is going, you might want to tell the truth.

My concern is, the more you allow yourself to wallow in the emotion the longer it takes to get out of the pool. The negative statements (even if they’re factually based) generate more negativity. (Or at least the emotions you have around the facts.)  So, if you can find something good to say and feel about it, anything at all you’re grateful for and stay with that, it can change the way you’re feeling and vibrating. Helping you to lift yourself out of the muck.