Perhaps the quintessential conundrum is creating your own life and accepting what is.  It’s hard to balance that. “I’m not happy with my life and I want to change it.”  But in order to do that, I must first accept what is.

Acceptance feels a lot like acquiescence.  If I accept my life just the way it is, isn’t that in some way saying it’s okay? What if it’s not okay?  I mean, why would you want to change if it was okay?

Where is that line between accepting that you are in this situation and giving up?  If you accept too much you might well slip into apathy. Thinking, “This is my lot in life, might as well just accept it.” This puts a huge weight on your shoulders that is not likely to go away.

There may well be another stance that is rooted in knowing that we create our lives through the thoughts we think, the e-motions we feel, and the consequent actions we take.

So, if the power is in your hands, acceptance doesn’t have to lead to resignation. It can just be a rest point to say, “Ah, yes, this is what’s happening.”  To tell the truth about it.  To attempt to see it without your filters.

This gives you a more accurate and complete awareness of what’s going on.  The trick, perhaps, is in the controlling of the emotions.  Seeing life for what it is, without judgements and filters, puts you in a solid position to do something about it.  The emotion clouds your thinking. Too much fussing about what you or someone else did to create the circumstances you wish to change does nothing to help you find a way to make adjustments.

Your feelings and emotions can guide you, can give you added information, that’s for sure.  But you probably already know you’re not pleased with what you see. So it’s no longer necessary to hold those thoughts and feelings.

A good remedy I’ve found for washing myself clean of some of those funky feelings is to look at and see clearly the things that ARE working, that are right in your life.  That will calm you down enough to look at the reality of your life with a sharper eye.  So you can accept what is and keep moving forward.

The other thing to remember is that life is change.  So, even if you don’t like how things are going, they will change.  Just not necessarily for the better.  The firm stance in reality allows you to better guide your life in the way you choose.

Advertisements