For instance, in the company I work for (which employs thousands of people), I happen to still be the delegate for two people who have left the company. Every time someone sends out an email to everyone, I am inundated with multiple copies that I must delete.  This is an energy leak.

How about an illustrative example?  Let’s say you have a leak in your roof.  Whenever it rains, you have extra work to collect and dispose of water that gets in the house.

Sometimes energy leaks occur for me when I say I’m going to do something and I don’t do it.  I expend a lot of energy remembering what it is I’m supposed to do, or reviewing it and transferring it from To Do List to To Do List.

If you pay attention, you can often feel the energy flowing from your body, though you are clearly not exerting yourself.

Items such as broken appliances draw energy from you when they don’t work properly. It certainly zaps your energy when things that are supposed to save you time and energy, add to it.

I often waste a lot of time trying to find the right socks.  I’m a working girl, so there is no reason why I can’t afford to buy myself a few more pairs of socks to stop this ridiculous waster.

There was a time in my life when I struggled day after day with a litter scoop that clearly wasn’t making my life easier.  I was at the store one day when I noticed a scoop that would do the job so much better.  I believe it cost $1.49.  I couldn’t believe I had wasted all that time and energy when all I had to do was spend this small amount of money to change everything!

Things like litter scoops and socks seem like small potatoes in the hurry up and keep up world we live in.  But they can add up and make you feel far less energetic than you should.

What I try to do is, once a month or so I take an inventory of places where I think my energy is leaking.  It’s important, I’ve found, to give myself a little quiet time to think about ways to plug those leaks.

Very often it’s simply a matter of taking a step.  Taking action to get what you need.  Maybe calling a repair person, or taking something back to where you bought it.  Remember that things on a To Do List can be very draining.  I know, it’s hard to find the time to do things as they come up, sometimes.  I often keep a list through the week, when I don’t have the time, and then deal with them on the weekends.  I reserve 30 minutes for doing all the little things that pile up through the week – like picking up and putting away, sweeping, sewing a button, etc.

The trick, really, is to deal with things, as soon as you can.  Taking even a small step can often cross the thing off your list or at least help to regain some of the lost energy.

Another place you may find energy leaks is in relationships.  There are some people who just zap your energy.  I admit, I haven’t figured out how to protect myself from this.  I suspect  preparing myself for it, knowing what will happen, and accepting that I’m going to leave some energy behind, I can at least keep it from compounding.

Maybe the leak is a matter of saying what you need to say to someone.  Things left out in the air can definitely drag you down.  A writing tip here would be to write a rough draft of what you want to say (even if you’re going to say it out loud).  Don’t hit the send button (or seal and stamp, or open your mouth) until you’ve thought it through a bit.  Just make sure you promise yourself to do it.  You’ll be surprised how much energy will rush back into you when you let that go.

I like to make a game of plugging energy leaks. Whenever I catch myself doing things more than once, or gritting my teeth and feeling like something’s a chore.  When I find I’m not comfortable with someone or some situation. When I say to myself, why am I doing this?  I challenge myself to come up with ways to make it easier.

I’ve been struggling with this.  How can I, for instance feel like I do in summer, when it is so obviously not?  It was looking like I’d have to lie to myself.

But I forgot: you don’t have to go from 0 to 60 in one breath.  Sometimes it’s enough to just rev up the engine a little.

Whenever I’m feeling low I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad.  Perhaps a list of some of my favorite things might help to have on hand: Summer breezes through my hair, getting into bed with clean sheets, new, colorful office supplies, any America song, finding the right answer, a few hours stretching out in front of me to write, or having nowhere to go.

So, when I find myself churning over some silly thing I can’t do anything about at the moment, I’m going to center myself.  Just a moment’s awareness will do. Then I can find something, anything at all that feels better than whatever nonsense or scolding is cluttering up my mind.  Maybe about the movie I’m going to be watching that evening.  If I’m having a hard time, I might try that the sun is shining or that my heart is pumping blood and I’m alive.  Usually there’s something I can go to.  Even a drink of cool water. 

I’ve come to see (though I knew before) with the help of Paulette Terrels, that it’s such a waste of time and energy to listen to those scolding voices. It does me no good to chew on the lousy weather or a tedious project I have to do, that it’s only Tuesday . . .   When all I have to do is think about Harry Potter and I’m back on track.  From there it’s not hard to find something better and better and then I’m cruising along at a comfortable 45.  Much easier to get to 60 from there!

He is a bit of a lady’s man.  Has a thing for “crumpet” as they say.  He has been led astray or certainly distracted more times than he should.

His best friend and long time partner is Tinker Dill.  He also serves as Lovejoy’s “barker.”  That is a person who bids for him at auctions and catches the sent of exciting antiques that might be floating around.  The barker, they say is often, “a broken down alcoholic.”  In the early days of the series, Tinker often was drunk and teetering, as the series went on though, he just became ready for a drink most of the time.

Also on Lovejoy’s team (for at least part of the series) is Eric Catchpole.  Eric’s dad sent him and a load of fresh meat from his butcher’s shop, to Lovejoy to keep Eric out of trouble.  Eric thinks Lovejoy needs to be more “fiscally responsible” and prefers to listen to rock music under his headphones.  But Lovejoy and Tinker continue to try to each him the trade.

Another good friend of Lovejoy’s is Lady Jane Felsham. She says you’re more likely to find her in “wellies” than in an evening gown.  She is a decorator, working for wealthy homeowners and businesses in the small English town where she and Lovejoy live. Jane knows a lot about antiques and fancies spending time with Lovejoy since her husband is usually out of town on business. Though they do like each other a lot, it’s only sexual tension between them, as they remain just good friends.  Lady Jane is often bailing out Lovejoy when he gets in over his head.  She’s been known to put up her money for some scheme Lovejoy is working and almost always picks up the tab for drinks or food.

Even though Lovejoy has this second sight and years of experience, he is often without money.  If he needs something, (like school fees for his daughter’s boarding school or money to buy a special antique) he can usually get it by selling something, buying something else, turning it over and selling it for more money, buying something else and selling it.  Lovejoy has been known to be a bit “dodgy” in his business dealings.  He may say it looks like it’s Spode, when in fact, it isn’t.  He’ll pass it off to some “punter,” a regular person buying antiques; not someone who knows much.

Despite his roguish nature and constant lack of money, he’s also quite refined and knows a good wine, fine food, etc.  And he is always charming.  His knowledge of antiques is extensive, but he can’t know everything.  When he doesn’t, Lovejoy always knows who to ask. There is a cast of characters who come and go that serve as experts where Lovejoy is lacking.

The stories are based on a series of books by Jonathan Gash.  But the TV series had lots of writers, which kept the episodes fresh.  And the ensemble cast shifted and changed a bit over the years.

The episodes are often around a mystery, though I wouldn’t call it a mystery.  There was usually something Lovejoy had to solve or fix or save.  They are all delightful stories that always leave me smiling and saying, “That was wonderful!”  The acting is exceptionally good and the stories keep you entranced.  Unlike some series, it always feels fresh to me – no matter how many times I’ve seen it.  They are lively, tight stories, with interesting characters, great actors, and beautiful antiques.  We learn a lot from Lovejoy’s knowledge, too.  A bit of romance, a some  intrigue, and a lot of fun!

I believe there are 6 seasons of Lovejoy available on DVD.

I, on the other hand, rely heavily on calendars, when I’m setting intentions. I will have lost 5 pounds by February 3rd at 9:15.  Now, isn’t that silly?  But still I forge on:  I’ll have a book published by December 31, 2012.

There are so many factors which can change my set dates. Even the simple ones like I’ll meet  you Sunday, 1:30 at Joe’s Place.  This is subject to the winds of weather, 2 working cars, and no emergencies on either end.  I’d say the Universe is quite wise not to make plans on a strict calendar.

So why oh why do I continue to stress out and beat myself up over deadlines I have no business setting?

I understand we live in a world that spins on calendars, agendas and deadlines.  We all are chained in some aspects of our lives.  And I do believe it’s a good idea to be responsible and show up on time, honor commitments.

But there are so many places where the yoke of time just makes it harder to accomplish our goals. Sure, we can set a target date.  But we have to remember that the Universe has no calendar.  Sometimes things take more time than we’ve estimated. Finding ways to keep going (even when we reach that date) is far more productive than beating ourselves up for a missed deadline.

There are executives who say that nobody cares about these stories anymore.  I say, they’re wrong.  I’ve found a huge community of dedicated, hard-working soap lovers – not just bored housewives.  I’ve written before about the relationships we have with these characters.  We see them more than we see our own family sometimes.  And we know more about them than we do our closest friends.  As Victoria Lord said, matriarch of Llanview, PA, where One Life to Live is set, all we have to do to continue the relationship is tune in tomorrow.  But there will be no show tomorrow.

It has been such an integral part of my life for such a long time.  How will I bear not seeing Vicki and Clint married?  Or finding out if Jessica finds love?  What will I do without Roxie’s rants, or David’s declarations which have kept me laughing so long?  What will happen to John and Natalie now that they’ve finally found each other?  I sigh.

Will it hurt more in a few weeks?  When days and days have gone by and I haven’t had my fix of life in Llanview? I weep for the genre that is dying.  There’s only one soap left on ABC, one on NBC and CBS is hanging onto two.  How long with they last?  When will the plug be pulled on all of them?  What will become of the hard working men and women who have given so much so that I can be entertained every day and fall in love,  be angry, laugh a little and cheer for my faves?  Soap acting is some of the hardest out there.  And so many successful actors today owe their start to soaps, honed their craft in daytime.

I must stop and take a breath.  They are just fictional characters, though they mean so much to me.  I’m reminded of a quote from Maria Nemeth, from her fabulous book, “The Energy of Money.”  She said this: “The next phase of development is learning to say yes to whatever is on your plate and realizing that anything you find in your life today is here to wake you up.”

She’s so right.  I know there are far worse things that can befall a person.  This is a chance for me to practice on something smaller so that the larger ones are easier to take.  I have been concerned about the hole this will leave in my life.  Perhaps that is my wake up call:  To find other things to fill the hole.  New stories I make up myself.  Time for other things . . .

It’s easy to fall into sadness over a loss of any kind.  But if we can see it as another opportunity to accept what is in front of us, viewing it as a chance  to wake up and take notice of all that we can do, it can become a gift.  May we all have plenty of things like this to practice on!

We always have the choice – to wallow in grief or do something about it.  Crying will not bring back what we’ve lost.  Finding a different perspective, when we’re ready, can help us to grow.

Karma works this way, too.  It’s not always I do a good deed and get something good back from it.  Very often the rebound Good comes from unexpected quadrants.

Social networking proves this theory as well.  Connecting with someone here can provide a juicy connection from someplace far off.  Those six degrees of separation often bounce in mysterious ways!

All of this shifting and twisting can leave me feeling a bit unsteady.

The trick is, I think, to follow the Japanese proverb which says, “Fall down seven times, get up eight.”  For some of us that may be, fall down 10 times, get up 11.

It’s at times like these I also need to remember to be kind to myself.  When I’m determinedly working on something, whether it’s a piece of writing, a job search or personal growth, there will be slip ups and times I feel stuck.  I need to just stay with it and keep going. Pick myself up, dust myself off, tend to any wounds, give myself a pat on the back and take another step. 

Progress does not always move in a neat and tidy line.

You won’t get anywhere without a destination.  Be very clear on what you want to do.  Fill in some details.  Make sure you’ll know when you get there. Without an intention, you’ll just be wandering about.  You need your Guiding Light to help you see the way when the going gets dark.

2)  Plan Wisely.

Choose action steps that are fun if you can.  The lighter they are, the easier they will be to do.  Make them small steps so you don’t give yourself too much to do and overwhelm yourself.  That’s a fine way to stop your plan before it’s even begun. Take into account your energy levels and what you might have coming up in the near future. Some activities may get in the way of your progress.  Plan for them and then they’ll be little more than a detour.

3)  Watch for Procrastination.

When you find yourself not doing it, make yourself give a clear reason why you’re not.  It might be that this is just not a good time.  Just because you are too tired or busy to do it now, doesn’t negate doing it at another time.  See if you can find out what’s stopping you.  Remember that resistance could be hiding fear. Be as specific as you can.  Listen to your thoughts.  Why aren’t you doing what you said you’d do?  Be honest. It’ll pay off.

4)  Take the Necessary Steps to Make it Easier.

Find better ways to do things, adjust your steps to make them smaller or more fun.  Discover more opportune times. Get the information you need. Address the issue(s) pinned down in 3).

5)  Decide to Follow Through.

There are many methods for this:  list the reasons and read them frequently.  Use the buddy system to hold you accountable.  Keep track of your progress.  See it as promise to yourself.  There are many ways to make sure you keep going.  Deciding is certainly an important part.  Reiterating your intentions, reminding yourself why you’re doing it.

6)  Just Do It.

Sometimes you just have to take the leap.  Even if you don’t feel like it, aren’t sure, need one more thing . . .  If you don’t take a step, you may never get there.  Sometimes the smallest thing can get you going again.  Inertia is powerful magic.

7)  Appreciate.

Please, make sure to congratulate yourself when you do something.  As often as you can, remember to appreciate what you do. Spend more time and effort on that than on what you didn’t do.

Goal Getting is defined (I think by Chellie Campbell) as such:

Step 1:  Knowing what you want.

Step 2:  Investigating what it will take to have it.

Step 3:  Taking the steps to have it.

 Simple when you see it that way!

That’s not an unfamiliar feeling for me.  Where everything seems to be going my way.  Help pops up out of nowhere.  And all things seem to fall into place with ease.  More often than not, though, I end up falling on my face before I get what I was after.

Okay, so I’m an enlightened person.  I’m not going to play the blame game. I know this is coming from me.  It’s not necessarily that I’m not good enough.  I was following my heart, after all. My soul was directing. I’m pretty clear these days on what I’m doing for me and what I’m doing to please others. This was something I was meant to do.  I could feel it.  So what happened?

There had to be some kind of breakdown in communication within me.  Somewhere along the way I must have stopped believing in myself.  I might have some limiting beliefs.  There could have been some fears that stopped me just before the end.  So, I guess this means I have to sit down and go over all the times I failed to get what I wanted and find out what went wrong.  Maybe I did something wrong.  Dropped the ball somewhere, perhaps.  What were those fears which cropped up at the wrong time?  How can I be sure it doesn’t happen again?

My coach, Paulette Terrels, listened to me rail on about this and then came up with a simple remedy.  How about just loving and accepting whatever is? It doesn’t really matter what the particular fears or limiting beliefs are.  Not need to dig deep and figure out what it all means.  Just be with it. Explain my side to whatever it is that’s holding me back.  Be gentle, but firm.  This is what I intend to do. No matter how too-good it may look or how many doubts or fears are lurking under the surface.  I can love myself over this.

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,200 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 53 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Alec Guinness starred in a movie called “The Scapegoat” in 1959.  In it, his character takes a vacation in France to escape his boring life and meets up with a rich man who is tired of his life and so they switch places.  In the new role, with fresh eyes, he sees things the man before him didn’t. And he’s able to solve problems and mend fences.

In Beginner’s Mind you can be with the ordinary and see it in extraordinary ways.  When you’re just beginning, you have no past to compare with. Nor do you have a history to dictate what is to come.

This is a good time of year to come back to Beginner’s Mind.  Some may tell you to look at what you’ve done over the past year.  But that may cause you to see something that didn’t work out as you’d plan.  Don’t let that color what you can dream up for the year to come! It’s far more important to look forward and imagine what could be anew.

What can you do in the New Year?  Beginner’s mind sees unlimited possibilities.  Stay open in Beginner’s mind and see all roads.

Paulette Terrels had some good suggestions for the New Year: “Perhaps we could each write a list of the goals we would like to reach for in our personal relationships.  Then, we might set a goal for our creative expressions.  How do we want to experience this new year, and what will be our first step in each direction? Let’s think about our desires, write then down before Sunday, and also include our first action steps to begin our journey toward success.”

Remember that these are goals, intentions, and desires.  Don’t stress out over them and don’t list more for yourself than you can do.  The important part is to take action steps toward reaching them.  And allow your mind to be open to the extraordinary possibilities.

Happy New Year!